Cold Case Love
by KrystalKayne
Summary: It's a vicious, repetitive cycle; she can't break it because she's addicted to him and what he does whether it be good, or whether it be bad. She didn't just want him, she needs him.


***Readers Discretion Advised: Violence May Offend***

* * *

><p><em>You weren't good for anything. You never have been. I used you. All you were was a good fuck...<em>

* * *

><p>That was how every argument between him and I seemed to start. It was nothing new to me, I mean after all – he just kept on running back to me. Every single time he'd walk out the very next morning he'd be there knocking at my door begging for my forgiveness; and every time I gave it to him. Why? It's a question that even I can't answer. I don't know what possesses me to make such a choice. Am I afraid of being alone? Maybe. Am I afraid of never being loved? Maybe. I still don't know the answer to the question.<p>

He was my drug. He was what I needed to survive, yet he was the reason behind why I always seem to breakdown – or most recently, lash out; and that was the reason behind many scars across his torso, the many hand marks on the side of his face along with the black eye and numerous bruises across his skin.

The thing is, with every hit I struck him with; I'd receive one back. I was foolish every time I accepted his apology; but I needed him, I couldn't survive without him. He was just like poison, yet I was still alive.

I found myself once against standing toe-to-toe with the Englishman who stood almost a foot taller than I did. Was I scared? No. Was I intimidated? No. In fact, I seemed just as livid, if not more so than he was. How we always ended up having an argument I still have no idea. But the sequence always seemed to be the same. We'd verbally abuse each other, we'd throw punches, I'd kick him out; he'd be back in the morning and I'd forgive him, and then we'd make up. It was a vicious cycle that seemed to be becoming a lot more frequent, yet I didn't seem to mind. But surely, even I had a breaking point, right?

Growling beneath my breath, my eyes narrowed my daggers into his; my expression darkened. We both seemed transfixed on one another's eyes, but not in that normal loving way as a couple should. It was more of an, 'I'm about to rip your head off' sort of stare; we remained both frozen to the spot. Neither of us moved, nor did we utter a word. My blood was boiling. I hated him, yet I had no idea why. The urge to yell and scream in his face was becoming unbearable; so much so I began to scowl and clench my fists which remained down by my side.

"**You; are unbelievable Wade. Un-fucking-believable"**

"**Oh, get off of that high-horse of yours Beth, just because you were too stupid to realize I was using you"**

"**You're right; I was stupid; stupid enough to forgive you – again!"**

It was at that moment the first fist was swung – it was mine and it connected harshly with the side of Wade's face – not that it had much effect due to the huge size difference between us. Keeping my icy blue eyes locked on the superstar as he half turned to the side holding his jaw, I went to swing again only to have my wrist grabbed a hold of. My eyes shot to the hand wrapped around my wrist, and my body tensed up. Normally, that didn't happen. Normally, I didn't show any form of weakness. So why was now any different. I slowly panned up to Wade's face; instantly my face began to contort in an angered manner; allowing a primal yell to leave my lips, I used my free hand and slapped him across the face, a red mark instantly following the action – as well as the release of my wrist. I knew what would happen next. Karma seemed to come around quickly after I'd hit him.

"**You just made a big mistake, Beth. A very big mistake"**

His words echoed through my mind; there was an added malice to his words. I was more shocked than scared, it'd hardly phased me really but I'd still taken notice and made a mental note. Having been distracted from reality for those few brief seconds, I hadn't caught wind of Wade's own actions. Not until his palm connected roughly with the side of my face, knocking me to the ground.

"**Do you know how worthless you are? You mean nothing..."**

Those words rattled me right down to the bone. Taking a moment to gather myself after taking that hit; I carefully pulled myself up off of the ground; my hand holding the side of my jaw out of pure instinct. I set a deadly glare upon him, my jaw clenching despite the pain that shimmered through it.

"**If I mean nothing then why do you keep coming back? Oh, that's right. I'm a good fuck compared to all the other girls, right?"**

I huffed, slightly breathless and still recovering from the impact of Wade's hand as I removed my hand from the side of my face; it clenching firmly down by my side. Breathing heavily through my teeth; I lunged forward and used every ounce of strength I had to knock him to the ground but my upper hand didn't last long as he turned the tables; easily switching positions. Grunting lowly as my stomach bared all of his weight; I knew that this definitely wasn't going to end well – and I was right because the next thing I knew, his hands were wrapped around my throat. In started to kick out instantly as my hands wrapped around his wrists in an attempt to pry them off, but it was no use. He was so much stronger than I was.

"**You bastard"**

I growled as loudly as I possibly could, but due to the lack of oxygen my voice had become quiet and raspy; but I wasn't about to give up. Being a woman had its advantages. Pressing my teeth down against my lower lip, I readjusted my grip and began to dig the tips of my acrylics into his skin, drawing blood after a few moments and soon enough; Wade released. Gasping instantly, I sat upright which brought me more or less; face to face with the Englishman – I still wasn't scared. Pushing his body away from mine, I got back up to my feet and quickly sent my foot into his stomach. It normally wasn't a good thing to kick a man when he was down, literally or not – but considering the situation; I think I could let it slide.

"**You... Are... Nothing... But... A chauvinistic... Pig"**

I yelled, my words broken by individual kicks to his midsection. I had to get in as much offense as I possibly could before I was rendered unconscious or something along those lines. Growling lowly as I got in one last kick before I retreated to the kitchen. I'd been preparing dinner before we started arguing – there was a knife on the cutting board. Grabbing a hold of it; I turned by back and rested it along with my free hand against the edge of counter top and held the knife out a little ways in front of me; and mere seconds later, Wade had found me – but he hesitated, he stepped back and raised his hands in a defensive manner. He obviously hadn't expected me to resort to something like that – his fault. Adjusting my footing so I was more stable, we merely locked eyes. It seemed to stay that way for a while too, he must've been trying to suss out a way to get the knife away from me – he'd have to kill me first for that to happen.

"**Woah... Beth. Put the knife down. No need to go to the extreme"**

Wade practically begged. He was shaken – I could tell by his voice. His words didn't change anything; I remained on-guard with the knife in front of me and pointed in his direction – I wasn't afraid to use it, and he knew that.

"**Why? Just so you can beat on me some more? Does.. Does this change your little plan?"**

I murmured in a sarcastic tone, pouting my lips and battering my eyelashes in a mocking way – I knew it'd get to him, the way I'd spoken. I could tell considering the corner of his lip twitched slightly. That always happened when I said something he wasn't a big fan of. Bracing myself as I prepared for the worst, I just flicked my hair out of my face and narrowed my eyes. He was speechless at that point; it was weird to see him like that. He always had something to say. Ways of insulting and mocking me; usually I was the one lost for words but finally, the tables had turned. To say I was proud of myself was an understatement.

"**You... You always think because you're the big bad Wade Barrett you think you can do whatever you want to me. Well sweetie; I'm the big, bad Beth Phoenix – I can and will do anything I want, to you!"**

I'd snapped. I lunged forwards; sending my foot into his stomach to knock him off of his feet – catching him off guard like that gave me great satisfaction. Once he was on the ground, I climbed on top of him, my hand pushing against his throat as I held the knife against his skin. I knew that sooner or later, he'd start taunting me; start saying how I much of a coward I was and that I wouldn't have the guts to do anything with the knife – I couldn't wait to prove him wrong.

I began to get this feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I couldn't describe it, I didn't know what it was, nor to did I really want too. Snarling quietly as I neared his face, I allowed a small smirk to flick across my lips as they half-pressed against the skin beside his mouth.

"**You see Wade; you're not the only one who can be intimidating"**

Something had taken me over. I didn't know what it was. It was as if I was possessed by something that was making me so overly bold. I never took any crap from anyone normally; but Wade was somewhat right before – I'd never gone to the extreme of using a weapon. It'd always been my fists.

"**C'mon Beth. Jus—Just put the knife down, okay?"**

He stuttered. Wade Barrett stuttered. Never did I think I'd live to see the day that, that happened. It made me all the more determined. Applying a little more pressure to his skin, a near sadistic look began to form on my lips as I slowly trailed the knife down his side; blood seeping slowly from the cut as I continued down his torso.

"**N'awhh. Is Wade not having fun like I am? Oh, look. You're going to have a new scar soon; enjoy **_**babe**_**"**

With that, I got to my feet; stomping my foot against the cut to make it bleed all the more. Turning my back to him, I put the knife in the sink – it was the biggest mistake I could've made; turning my back on him because the next thing I knew was Wade had grabbed a hold of my hair and had the knife in his own hand and pressed it against my cheek – it was at this point I was just the tiniest bit scared. Who could blame me? There was a knife in my face – and it was dangerously close to my throat, and I didn't like it; not in the least bit.

"**Looks like you're not the only one having fun, **_**babe**_**"**

He snarled mockingly in my direction. I could feel the tip of the knife digging into my skin soon followed by the sensation of blood trickling down my cheek – it was at that point I wasn't going to have a bar of it. I lifted my leg and kicked at his; and Wade, along with the knife fell to the floor. Taking a moment to comprehend fully what had just happened, I sent my knee into the side of his face; grabbing the knife and chucking it back in the sink before I jumped over the superstar and headed towards my room – at least I'd be somewhat safe there. Just before I had the chance to shut the door; Wade barrelled in after me and knocked me off my feet. I ended up whacking the back of my head against something, I don't know what it was but it left me dazed. Shifting only slightly as I moved my hand to the back of my head; Wade got down on his knees only to drop all his weight into my midsection causing a loud groan to pass my lips. Blinking rapidly as I tried to focus my now doubled vision in on him, I tried my best to make sure I stayed conscious because God knows what he'd do if I wasn't. Gulping at that thought; my eyes remained wide open and just watched him. He had remained silent since knocking me to the ground as if he were plotting his next move. I wriggled slightly beneath him to see if there'd be any way out – but there wasn't, that should've been obvious already. He was over twice my size. It was at that moment I realized my arms were still free; and with that I clenched my fist and sent it across his face harshly with no words before setting a deadly glare upon him.

"**You need to stop making mistakes"**

He huffed bitterly before returning the favour and sending his own fist into the side of my face; it merely snapping to the side. My lips parted as my hand rested against my jaw again. Almost gasping for air at that point, my eyes focused on the blood seeping from the wound I'd created on Wade's upper body, it'd gotten worse since we'd been in the kitchen. Inhaling sharply, I used all my mite to push his body off of mine. Quickly rolling away, I scrambled to my feet and made a run for the front door, but I only made it to the dining area before I felt a sharp tug at my hair. Unable to stop myself, a loud shriek left my lips as I was dragged backwards and spun around of and my jaw grabbed a hold of tightly causing me to wince heavily. Never once had I shown weakness, I didn't want to start now but I think I've finally reached that breaking point. That point where I just couldn't take anymore – then again, I'd said that to myself after the past two encounters I'd had with Wade – but this one, it was worse.

"**And you were one of them!"**

I snapped bitterly, despite the response being late, I had to get it out before he decided to incapacitate me. Taking in heavy breaths, I clawed away at his hand only for the grip to tighten. Whimpering quietly, I shifted my weight in hopes of being able to hit a low blow but before I could execute the plan I was pushed backwards and shoved up against the wall before being lifted from my feet. My hands wrapped around Wade's wrists tightly in hopes of taking away from of the pressure on my spine from just dangling there.

"**You might want to shut your mouth and stop digging your own grave, sweetheart"**

Wade hissed; his face up close to mine as his grip tightened around my neck. Pressing my lips together and shutting my eyes tightly, I did all I could to just remain calm but my senses slowly began to fail me as I started feeling light-headed and woozy. I'd lost track of time since his hands had grabbed my throat. Gasping for air at this point, my attempts to wiggle free became feeble and pointless. Finding my grip become weaker, I felt like I was about to pass out and to be honest, I wouldn't have been surprised if I did but before I had the chance, Wade suddenly released his grip causing me to fall to the floor in a crumpled heap. Loosely wrapping my hand around my throat, I began to cough and splutter as if oxygen was foreign to me. Gasping heavily and I tried to drag myself to the sofa' my travels were quickly interrupted as something hit my midsection. I gathered it to be the Englishman's foot but it could've been anything. I felt so out of it I couldn't tell when fantasy ended and reality started.

"**Get the fuck out"**

I huffed, my voice barely above a whisper but the anger I was feeling was evident. Wrapping my arm around my stomach, I began to crawl again, only to receive at least 4 more kicks to the stomach. Groaning with each connection; I eventually laid flat on the carpet. The will to move so high yet the ability to do it so, so low. Coughing and spluttering constantly; my icy blue orbs slowly gazed up towards Wade who had an overly smug look on his face. Attempting to snarl in response as he dropped to his knees beside me, I pushed myself up off of the floor only to lose all strength and thump back down. It didn't seem to matter because he just lowered himself to my level due to my incompetency.

"**I hope you had fun, **_**babe**_**" **

He murmured huskily, his lips brushing across mine lightly as he spoke. Swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat; I used every ounce of remaining energy in my body to lift my hand upwards and then whatever else it was that I had to slap him across the face.

"**I repeat, get the fuck out"**

I huffed again, pushing myself away from him; creating some distant before I quickly moved my leg, my knee connecting with his crotch causing him to buckle. At least that'd give me some time to recover. Managing to take in a few deep breaths, I pulled myself over to the sofa; using it as a base to get to my feet; rubbing salt in the wounds by sending my foot into Wade's shoulder, despite how feeble it was, at least it was something.

"**Unless you want me to slice more than just your chest, I suggest you get the fuck out!"**

I yelled at the top of my lungs; hoping my words had some effect despite how my voice cracked after every two or three words. Resting all my weight against the edge of the sofa, I narrowed my eyes and again sent my foot into the superstar's side. Receiving a low growl in response, I merely clenched my jaw and growled back; my eyes following his every movement right up until he got in my face even. Keeping my eyes locked on his, I became nearly obsessed on staring him straight in the eye and due to that distraction, I hadn't predict the hit that suddenly connected with my jaw, a slight scream passing my lips as it knocked me straight back to the ground. Taking a moment to catch my breath, I turned my head and watched the Englishman leave, a wave of relief running through me as I allowed myself to shift onto my back; pushing my fingers back through my hair, jumping at the sound of the door being slammed roughly shut.

From that point I just laid there; the blood still slowly trickling down my cheek from the small cut on my face that Wade had given me after I'd sliced his torso and now, everything ached. My face, my neck; my arms and legs, my entire body just ached but I refused to cry, I utterly refused too. I had shown almost no weakness apart from the one or two times I felt like breaking down into tears.

After what felt like hours, I finally found the strength to move. Slowly gaining to my feet; I began to wander towards the bedroom, using anything I could to brace myself. Finally reaching my bedroom, I collapsed on top of the covers and just curled up into a ball; hugging my knees tightly to my chest and after a little while, I fell into a peaceful sleep, something that I badly needed.

* * *

><p>The morning. The dreaded morning after. After pulling myself from the confines of my bed, I'd dragged myself – almost literally, to the bathroom which revealed the aftermath of the previous night. Bruises littered my face and neck, my stomach and sides and a few up my arms – and not small, unnoticeable ones either. Sighing heavily, I rested my palms against the edge of the basin and lowered my head. Why did I let this happen to me? Why did I let Wade beat me like he did? They were questions I couldn't answer. My mind went blank when I would ask myself them.<p>

Having not found the motivation to move, my thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the door and despite my current appearance, I headed for the door. Biting down against my lower lip, I twisted the lock and door handle and pulled it open, my eyes slowly panning upwards before meeting Wade's face; he also sporting bruises. I hated to think what his torso looked like at this point. Stepping back a little ways, I silently invited him into the room and shut the door. Now any sane person would've slammed the door in his face and locked it after what had happened the night before – but I was far from sane. Pushing my hands deep into the back pockets of my jeans, I exhaled a quiet sigh and bowed my head before I rocked back on my heels.

"**Listen, about last night..."**

Wade huffed quietly as he brought his hand to the back of his head; awkwardly shifting his weight around on the spot. I merely remained quiet. I honestly had nothing to say – like every other time this would happen. Biting down against my lower lip as a familiar feeling brewed in the pit of my stomach, I finally gained the courage to lift my gaze from the floor and to meet Wade's eyes. They had that puppy-dog look about them and he seemed genuinely upset about what had happened the night before – like every other time. It was the very look that I always fell for.

"**It doesn't matter"**

I murmured quietly in reply, shrugging my shoulders lamely. It really didn't considering it'd only end up happening over, and over, and over again whether we wanted it to or not. It was an inevitable fate sealed by something neither of us seemed to be able to control.

"**It might not matter to you, but it matters to me. I'm supposed to love you yet I keep doing... doing this"**

He exclaimed, using the tip of his finger to tilt my head softly to the side; I could practically feel his eyes scanning the marks on my face, but they seemed to burn into the cut he'd made on my cheek. Wincing slightly, I pulled my hand from my pocket and pushed his away from my face.

"**...and I keep doing this"**

I mused, using every ounce of composure I had to stop myself from breaking down into tears as I carefully trailed the tips of my fingers down the side of face and jaw line. I may've been a girl, but I had a lethal punch – and Wade definitely knew that. Pressing my teeth down against my lower lip, I ran my hand slowly down the superstars arm before it reached his, shifting it slightly until our fingers were intertwined.

This all felt like déjà vu, it really did. This happened every single time; it was as if we were regurgitating a script; the same script on a fortnightly basis. Lightly tightening my grip on his hand, I bowed my head and exhaled a shaky breath. My thoughts were so muddled and confused at that point. I didn't know what to do, or what I was doing. After a few more moments of silence I felt Wade's fingertip tilt my chin upwards, my eyes holding gaze with his dark chocolate orbs. They were so hypnotizing when they wanted to be. My stomach began to churn, and my chest began to tighten.

"**I'm sorry"**

Wade murmured quietly as his face neared mine; causing me to near instinctively lean back a little ways until his lips connected tenderly with mine. Inhaling sharply, my free hand shifted to the side of face; softly caressing it and I pushed my lips back against his. Our hands parted and his arms wrapped around my waist firmly; pulling me close as my hand rested on his hip. I gasped slightly as our bodies pressed together out of both shock and pain. Taking in a few deep breath, I refocused myself on the kiss; there was a passion there that wasn't normally and where it'd come from I couldn't tell you. After awhile, I tore my lips from his; unable to stop myself from lightly clenching my teeth down against his lower lip as I pulled away.

"**Don't worry, babe. It's okay"**

I purred quietly, taking in a few deep breaths as my gaze briefly locked with Wade's. A small smile flicked up onto the corners of my lips; a quiet giggle leaving my lips as Wade nuzzled against my cheek; a quiet chuckle passing his lips before he snuck a kiss. Squeaking to myself; I allowed my hand to grab a hold of the material covering his back as my body began to roll against his. Reaching out blindly for the door; I pushed it shut and huffed softly into the kiss. Pulling my hand from Wade's; I allowed both to caress the sides of his neck as his hands been to slowly run up and down my side causing me to shudder slightly. Taking in a deep breath as I pulled away, I took a moment to compose myself, my forehead resting against his as I lightly brushed my thumbs across his jaw line.

"**You're beautiful, you know that?"**

Wade murmured as he bit against my lower lip causing my back to arch and push my stomach into his midsection. His arm wrapped around my waist; holding me in the position as our lips parted again. I tensed up slightly and allowed my hands to trail down to his chest; slowly undoing each button on his dress shirt. Biting down against my lower lip roughly, I took a moment to admire his abdominal region – that was until my eyes fell upon the cut I'd given him the night before; the only difference was now it had little paper strips holding it together.

"**...and you're sexy"**

I purred in response, my lips attacking his almost instantly after his words. His hands gripping my hips firmly before he began to carefully push me backwards and after a few steps my back was up against the wall. My body began to heat up and my cheeks flushed a light crimson colour.

This always happened after we fought. The next morning I'd forgive him and then this would happen. Gasping slightly as Wade's hands began to run up my back; my lips parted slightly as I pushed my hips into his.

The next thing I knew, he'd grabbed a hold of my thighs and lifted me up the wall; causing me to gasp suddenly. I definitely hadn't been expecting that. Resting my forehead against his again, I parted my lips slightly and allowed my tongue to trail across his bottom lip. After mere moments, Wade had pulled me off of the wall and taken me into the bedroom. Again, déjà vu came into play. After capturing one another's lips again for a minute or two, we'd stripped one another of our clothes and 'made up'. The night was littered with grunts and screams of pleasure before we both fell asleep – well Wade did. I was still wide awake. My mind was swimming with thoughts. There really was no way out of this.

Wade seemed to be the only thing that made me want to leave – no matter how often he beat me. He was the poison I needed to survive and there was nothing that would change that; not now, not ever. I'd have to deal with the pain if I wanted to feel anything. There was no cure for this. I was locked into a vicious cycle of sex and abuse, and no matter how much I'd want it to change, it never would. No matter how hard I tried, it would be that way for the rest of my days. Did I care? Well, I didn't know the answer to that myself, but there had to be a point that I would care, right? There'd be a point where I'd break down; there'd be a point where I wouldn't be able to take the pain. I didn't know when that would be, or if it'd even happen but I silently hoped that it would so I could get out of this.

Yeah, I loved him; with all my heart. But what he was doing to me was a crime. I knew for sure there'd be a day he'd go too far, and that there'd maybe even be a day I'd be the victim that didn't survive.


End file.
